Awe and Shock. These were the emotions displayed on my girlfriends’ faces when I announced McGator would be retiring. Twin sentiments conjoined by reality. They were pleased he had attained the awesome life goal of giving up the daily grind and becoming a man of leisure, but ultimately shocked by the reality of the translation: he was going to give up his paycheck and be home ALL DAY.
Then there was the other realization that coursed through everybody’s mind before erupting with startling clarity:
- A peer of the group was retiring.
- Old people retire.
- The peer group was old!
My friends were not the only ones feeling youth challenged by our looming retirement. Our moms were startled to find out they were old enough to have retired people for children. The kids were anxiously undecided if having retired parents would be cool or not, but became cheerfully supportive after we assured them we would not be retiring from the roles of Financial Managers of their College and Lifestyle Funds.
During the process of absorbing and digesting the news of our impending retirement, I was peppered with questions, which I did my best to answer:
1. Is McGator planning to find another job? What is he going to do all day? Won’t he be bored? McGator won’t have time to look for another job. He’s got all kinds of new job titles: Yard Guy, Pool Guy, Handyman Guy, Computer Guy, Travel Agent Guy, and not to mention, Clan Manager Guy. By the time he tries to squeeze in Flying Around by the Seat of His Pants Just Cuz he Can Guy, he’s going to be pooped.
2. McGator must feel bad, not earning a paycheck anymore. Would he like to come and fix our toilet, or maintain our pool? We could put him on retainer. He doesn’t feel that bad.
3. Won’t you go crazy, having him home all day? My sanity survived my previous 5 lives. The kids are moving on, and McGator is taking on half of my job titles. I’m good to go for my 6th life as Retired Housewife.
4. Will you be looking for a job? Now that would be crazy! We just spent three decades like ships passing in the night. I’m looking forward to getting to know McGator all over again. Why would I waste eight hours a day being bossed around by strangers? Besides, if word got out there was a healthy, unsupervised retired guy who like to fix things languishing about the house, the neighbors would be beating a path to our door. (Review question #4) I’ve got to stick around and keep an eye out for casserole bearing garden club ladies lurking in the shrubs.
5. Would I be able to go shopping anymore? Of course! The last title Mcgator wants is that of Shopping Guy. I will do my part to keep the economy going, and let’s face it, he’s going to need a some alone time as Remote Control Guy.
There is no doubt adjusting to retired life presents its challenges, but aren’t the challenges what make life zesty? And having McGator home all day to explore our new jobs as Retired Guy and Housewife is turning out to be shockingly awesome.